WASHINGTON–President Donald Trump unexpectedly deployed thousands of U.S. troops to create a 5-mile-wide “alien free” zone on the Mexican side of its border with America.
Frustrated by Mexico’s refusal to pay for a $1.2 billion wall along the border to keep undocumented immigrants from illegally entering the United States, Trump said today that he was using his executive powers to establish an American-occupied zone in which Mexicans will be prohibited from entering without U.S. permission.
At the same time, Trump vowed to empty federal jails of murderers and rapists, package them up in buses and dump them in the occupied zone as retaliation for all the criminals that Mexico “has sent here illegally across our border.” As Trump explained, “Mexico has been sending its worst criminals up to prey on innocent Americans. Now they can have the worst of ours. Our troops will keep them from returning here, so their only choice will be to filter down into Mexico. Where I’m sure they’ll be welcome.”
“I’ve had it with those people,” Trump said at a press conference to announce his plans. “I warned them that I don’t negotiate from weakness. I sent my best negotiators with fair demands that Mexico do something substantial to solve a huge problem that they created for us, and they thumbed their nose at me. Now they’ll find out that I mean business.”
Under Trump’s orders, units of the Army’s storied 82nd Airborne have already parachuted into northern Mexico and have begun clearing Mexicans out of the five-mile-wide corridor along the nearly 2,000-mile long border, according to Pentagon sources. They reportedly have met no immediate military resistance as Mexican authorities were taken off guard by the surprise military incursion.
So too were members of Congress who, on a bi-partisan basis, quickly condemned the unilateral military action without a declaration of war.
Trump unabashedly defended his actions under withering questioning during a 42-minute-long White House press conference.
“I am the Commander-in-Chief and the troops belong to me,” the mogul asserted with his now familiar combativeness. “How many troops does the Senate have? If they want to decide where and when to send out the Army, Navy, Marines and Air Force, let Congress create their own military.”
Reminded by reporters that the action appears on its face to be a violation of the constitutional principle of separation of powers, the billionaire scoffed: “The precedent that I can do with my troops whatever I decide has already been well established by previous administrations and their military incursions around the world. Let them take me to court if they want, but by then American forces will have successfully secured the alien free zone.
“As I said during my campaign, ‘I get things done.’ Congress, of course, will dither around until anything it decides–if it ever gets to the point of deciding something–will be moot.”
As for the Mexican military, Trump said “we caught them with their pants down. If they ever get their act together we will deal with them. We beat Mexico once in a war and we’ll do it again. Maybe this time we’ll make the entire mess a colony. That should shape them up.”
United Nations Secretary General Vin E Boom Botz said he would immediately convene the Security Council to condemn what he called “an invasion of a sovereign nation in violation of international law.” Asked about possible UN intervention, Trump quipped, “The UN? What’s that?”
Meanwhile, Mexican authorities urged the drug cartels that control much of the nation to join with regular army troops to “repel this attempted annexation by the colonial, gringo oppressors from the north.”…parody source